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Old March 26th, 2010, 07:38 PM   #1
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Default No sex before MONOGAMY??

What do you all think? I posted this in a thread earlier, its from Patty on "The Millionaire Matchmaker"....she warns every client in her club of this rule. I am by no means saying that I have followed this, but I am thinking about trying it..starting NOW!

Opinions?
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Old March 26th, 2010, 08:06 PM   #2
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Default Re: No sex before MONOGAMY??

I have seen this work so many times...and I've seen this fail so many times. It depends upon what the woman is looking for in a partner and what she is willing to accept. Waiting for a committed, monogamous relationship is very rare now a days, and that's a sad fact. We've lost something with the instant gratification of sleeping with a possible match before we know he can really be a match for us. Now...I know the premise of test driving a car before you buy it is used very frequently in regards to dating--take the man/woman on a test drive before you get into a relationship--but does it really work?

I say...build up the intimacy through conversation, interaction, and interests before bringing the common interest of sexual interaction into the conversation. Men and women are not too different when it comes to certain things...like wanting the things we just can't seem to get. If a man or woman has to wait for the sexual intimacy or work for it a little harder, I think they will appreciate it more. And, they will not be placing you in the "promiscuous" category. If he's a good one, he'll wait --not forever, but he'll work with you...if he's not a good one, then you'll get an answer fairly quickly. Just think...if the person you are with is sleeping with you on the first date or first meet...they've probably done it with others---and the others are no longer around.

I'm working with Patti Stanger on this one Laurie. She's been doing the matchmaking thing a long time. And...listen to the men in your life talk about the women they have known. Ask the men you have had relationships or relations with about how they view the different women that have come into their lives. It's interesting to sit back and really hear a man's opinion. The biggest player may surprise you by what he might say.
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Old March 26th, 2010, 08:07 PM   #3
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Default Re: No sex before MONOGAMY??

Originally Posted by thickazthievez View Post
Does this rule include oral sex?
Yes....no placing the penis in ANY of the holes---that comes straight from the show... lol
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Old March 26th, 2010, 09:51 PM   #4
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Default Re: No sex before MONOGAMY??

May I ask what people's thoughts are on Kissing, Cuddling, curling up in each other's arms, and maybe even a little heavy petting...?

I absolutely LOVE sex, but I am happiest when I am engaging in the physical intimacies... Holding hands, long slow passionate kisses, the warm embrace of someone who is excited to see me... The list goes on, and the zipper remains zipped...

I have been single for 6 months and I find that I can relieve the sexual angst in ways that do not need to be mentioned here, but the need for those "affectionate physical contacts" is impossible to alleviate... I would find it hard to pursue a relationship with a woman who didn't offer some level of physical intimacy as soon a reasonable level of comfort with me was acheived...

Ladies... Please let me know if I am being unreasonble....
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Old March 26th, 2010, 10:46 PM   #5
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Default Re: No sex before MONOGAMY??

Originally Posted by BDRawhide747 View Post
May I ask what people's thoughts are on Kissing, Cuddling, curling up in each other's arms, and maybe even a little heavy petting...?

I absolutely LOVE sex, but I am happiest when I am engaging in the physical intimacies... Holding hands, long slow passionate kisses, the warm embrace of someone who is excited to see me... The list goes on, and the zipper remains zipped...

I have been single for 6 months and I find that I can relieve the sexual angst in ways that do not need to be mentioned here, but the need for those "affectionate physical contacts" is impossible to alleviate... I would find it hard to pursue a relationship with a woman who didn't offer some level of physical intimacy as soon a reasonable level of comfort with me was acheived...

Ladies... Please let me know if I am being unreasonble....
i think its realistic & romantic & the best foreplay ever to have lots of heavy petting for many dates, doesnt that make the sex even better when you get there? it createsa great dynamic and a wonderful emotional bond...but of course thats what so many are trying to avoid...
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Old March 26th, 2010, 11:43 PM   #6
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Default Re: No sex before MONOGAMY??

Originally Posted by BDRawhide747 View Post
May I ask what people's thoughts are on Kissing, Cuddling, curling up in each other's arms, and maybe even a little heavy petting...?

I absolutely LOVE sex, but I am happiest when I am engaging in the physical intimacies... Holding hands, long slow passionate kisses, the warm embrace of someone who is excited to see me... The list goes on, and the zipper remains zipped...

I have been single for 6 months and I find that I can relieve the sexual angst in ways that do not need to be mentioned here, but the need for those "affectionate physical contacts" is impossible to alleviate... I would find it hard to pursue a relationship with a woman who didn't offer some level of physical intimacy as soon a reasonable level of comfort with me was acheived...

Ladies... Please let me know if I am being unreasonble....
well wouldn't heavy petting be considered a sexual act if it's providing a release? It's kind of like Christians who claim they don't have sex before marriage but they will perform oral sex or dry humping or better yet anal sex so that they can remain a virgin until they're married LOL.

The matchmaker wants the intimacy built through affection, kissing (which she says to her clients, a good kiss on the lips on the first date is a must if you want the woman to know you really like her and are interested in seeing her further). So of course the cuddling, and hugging and all of that communicates that physical interest, but most of her clients come to her because they are used to not doing these things and then they cannot figure out why they don't have wives or long term monogamous relationships with the kind of women they truly want.


Her show is actually a perfect example of what happens to these serial daters who nail everything in a skirt on the first or second dates, they can't break out of the cycle and when they hit those dreaded ages where their mortality being questioned may come into play, they are looking to marry and they can't find marriage material and they don't know how to treat women. I always think of Eddie Murphy's Saltine Cracker joke.

I am by no means saying that the men are all to blame, we as women have played right into this as well. Either too afraid to hold out for it, because the competition will do whatever they have to do to land the man if you don't etc... there are a million reasons why women have jumped into physical before getting to know someone. Feminism both helps and hurts us at times.
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Old March 27th, 2010, 12:37 AM   #7
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Big Smile Re: No sex before MONOGAMY??

Originally Posted by Curvaceous Flirt View Post
they are looking to marry and they can't find marriage material and they don't know how to treat women. I always think of Eddie Murphy's Saltine Cracker joke.

I found it! Warning: Naughty...but funny!

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Old March 27th, 2010, 03:09 AM   #8
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Default Re: No sex before MONOGAMY??

hahaha I love it
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Old March 27th, 2010, 05:40 AM   #9
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Default Re: No sex before MONOGAMY??

WTF?

Why were my posts deleted?

Why was Mark's post deleted?
 
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Old March 27th, 2010, 06:10 AM   #10
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Exclamation Re: No sex before MONOGAMY??

There's an element that I haven't heard many women talk about, which is SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY. Which to me has many things included, like what they like and don't like, but the precursor to all of that is IS THIS PERSONS SEXUAL DRIVE (SEXUAL ENERGY) similar to mine?

When a woman waits a period of time that actually makes the man uncomfortable, that clearly means their sexual drives are not similar. A lot of times women label men who stop calling (after not having sex for a while) as a PLAYER or a guy just looking for SEX, but that's not the case most of the time (except for the guy who's just looking for sex).

When I date, beyond trying to see if I'm a good match with the woman I'm interested in with the regular things, I'm also trying to see what her need for sex is as well. And if the woman I'm interested in, is waiting for my deepest devotion of monogamy, that clearly indicates to me that our sexual desires are not on the same level.

Swingers - some have sex instantly, definitely doesn't mean they never find their soul mate.

Normal, I always felt the 3 date rule or the month rule was always a reasonable amount of time. Anything more, at least for me, would show me I'm not sexually compatible with that person and it would be time to start dating someone else.
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